Men in Black 3

Men in black was unfortunately released around the same time as The Avengers, so it really didn’t stand a chance, however, watching it a good 2 months after its release in the peace and quiet of my room, you really get to appreciate what a well crafted action comedy this is. A good 15 years after the first men in black, with its blockbuster actor, blockbuster sales and blockbuster soundtrack…Will Smith could do no wrong, and this seems less like a sequel, so there’s no jinx there…but somehow…I seem to have missed the men in black2 from 2002…or maybe I just         don’t remember, after all, 10 years was a long time ago.

Venus

Women may be from Venus, and this is where you’ll probably find me on a Friday night. It’s been around for a minute, and in the ephemeral night scene in Accra, that’s an eon. At the corner of 6th st. off Oxford Street, for those who don’t know it, it’s hiding in plain sight. Total, Citizen Kofi, Supreme even firefly have become landmarks for an establishment that preceded them. Venus is far from pretentious and dressed up or dressed down, you’re good to go. It offers a variety of dishes including a Lebanese menu, drinks and Shisha. You find a range of people (teens to people way over the hill) chilling on the patio watching cars go buy sipping on hot or cold beverages, smoking hookah, and utilizing the complimentary wifi. Almost nothing is out of place, a girl reading the hunger games on an ipad, a young entrepreneur working busily on a Mac while having his dinner or a group of debutants excited about their first taste of alcohol. Couples on first or last dates, rowdy boys arguing about nothing or singles waiting to meet up with friends in town.

Chez Clarise

 My review of places would not be complete without showing love to ma chérie Clarise. I almost want to keep it a secret, so if you start to abuse this knowledge I’m sharing, I’ll be forced to ban you. Yes…it is that serious. This joint has the best food ever. The grilled Tilapia and attiéke is to die for…and I won’t try to convince you any further, the truth is in the poisson. I had it once and was sold…addicted…I’m talking intervention ish…twice a week, can’t wait for the weekend.

The Lexington

Just in-case you’ve been under a rock for the past couple of months, Champs is no more and Lexington has taken its place. Long gone is the relaxed sports bar we’ve grown to love with karaoke on Friday nights and all-you-can-drink Saturdays and let’s not forget trivia night…*sigh* memories. 

My first thought when I heard, was why would anyone sell a niche well established sports bar like Champs and turn it into a lounge, after all there are more than enough of those in Accra and they seem to have a very short life expectancy, every other day a new place opens up and another shuts down, it all seemed like a very bad business move. Then I went to The Lexington.

It all seemed normal till the big neon sign hits you…or rather, you hit it, from there, former Champs patron might get woozy because it’s like the twilight zone, gone are the dark wood Oktoberfest-esque tables and booths, gone are the jerseys and pool tables, welcome to the Lexington, well deserving of the definite article, it’s a definition of an upscale bar-restaurant-lounge. White walls, with circus murals circa the 1700s (citation needed), plush cushions and leather, a DJ booth, 2 bars, a dance floor and quaint tables for serious dining. The lighting behind the main bar attracts you like a…firefly ;) and you’ll be mesmerised by the sheer logistics (a cocktail strainer? a metal muddler? Is that Estrella Damm? How Über chic!) and if that doesn’t get you, the bar tenders showmanship will. Champs already had a strong expatriate following but that was nothing compared to Lexington’s and the music choices are fresh, hip and international. 

Their website which conveniently has their menu, does a very good job of describing its themes and multi faceted set up. The food offerings are very cosmopolitan, delicious and as pricey as the drinks, whether its business or pleasure, the Lex promises to impress. It passes the Mojito test and they even make a mint julep as well as, surprisingly, everything else on their menu. The quesadillas are to die for and the service is surprisingly quick.  It’s definitely the place to treat yourself or someone else. And if your looking for that high street experience…I mean swanky metropolitan watering hole…this is a really really cheap way to get that fix.

The Republic Bar & Grill

 Conveniently located on 3^rd lane (according to Google maps) off oxford street (between Frankies and “consar” aka awkward mall-to-be, The Republic is incredibly easy to find. Depending on the day and the time of day, the atmosphere varies from a quaint after work secret chill out spot, to a bustling parking headache on weekends. Walking into the establishment actually feels like going back to 1^st July 1960. 

The décor is refreshingly vintage and the attention to detail is commendable, with basic hard wood round tables and stools that fit perfectly to make a long bench if you so wish and period magazine and newspaper cut outs on the walls, the inside of The Republic is quirky and definitely for the grown-and sexy. Casement windows with stained glass detail, classic records other antiques show up in all corners of the bar and you have a choice of making small talk at the bar, huddling in the many dark indoor corners, chilling on the patio or simply sitting around the ever popular round plastic table outside on the veranda, spilling onto the road on a very good night.

 A bar is not a bar unless it has mojitos and anyplace that serves alcohol need to have a good place of convenience. The newspaper cut-out theme is still present in the washrooms however the fixtures are all surprisingly avant garde, the only downside being only 1 cubicle for women, and everyone knows women use and need to use a restroom far more often than men! The Republic not everyone’s cup of tea though, you do have to get the concept; they only serve Ghanaian drinks, with a few “African” ones namely South African wine and Savannah dry, the menus are clean and simple: to drink and to eat and if a never ending list of cocktails you’ve never heard of is what you’re looking for, this really isn’t the place for you. There are only 3 cocktails on their menu; the mojito, a coco batida and the signature drink “the Republica” which is basically a caipirinha, so you won’t spend 15 minutes looking at the menu pretending to consider the options before you settle for your regular Long Island Ice Tea. The main ingredient in their cocktails and shots is cane rum made in Ghana with fresh fruits they marinate themselves for the flavoured shots. The rest of the drinks menu consists of all the other Ghanaian alcoholic and non alcoholic drinks on the market (no Club Gold though) 




The food menu will bring a smile to your face with colourful names like yeye goat, momo( pork dumplings), afro cuts and Osu favourite domedo. Home grown rice, cassava and bread serve as sides and there’s even 2 vegetarian dishes…well, kind of vegetarian…the eggalitarian contains eggs and the green revolution has tuna, and if the coco batida isn’t enough of a dessert for you, you can get some yucca slices or a ‘kofi rich man’. The crowd is very interesting and you never know who you’ll meet, I don’t know how long they can resist “azonto bug” but the music you’ll hear ranges from classic highlife to son, is probably the 1 thing I’d change about the place, but wait, did I forget to mention the 5ghs cocktails and soon-to-come happy hour? With very friendly staff, the only thing missing is spontaneous live music, singing and dancing to complete this throw back to the golden era but somehow, I don’t see where they’d find the space.

Fast Five

Ok, so i'm jumping  on this late...but what can i say..i don't exactly have a lot of time on my hands.

I heard about the movie through Don Omar's song off the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, cos his video features snippets of the movie and it was set in Brasil, yada yada, as you can imagine i got excited.

Fast foward to December 2011, when i do finally find the time to watch a DVDrip of it, and i can barely believe my eyes after the 1st 5 minutes.

First of all...did Vin Diesle's x'ter get arrested in Fast Four?....ok lets say he did..i don't remember, ok now he's been tried etc etc, somehow, he's the only one of his crew that got caught...fine...then on his way to prison, he a bunch of big time criminals are transported through some deserted desert backroad in a flimsy looking bus with barely a guard on it. (btw, my school buses have more guardrailings...never mind that there's minimal access to the emergency outlet, medical students are clearly more dangerous)
Somehow...in a bid to be non descript, this rickety bus with 1 guard and 40 odd criminals is travelling without a convoy of preceding and succeding armed police escorts. REally? REALLY? really? If incognito is the way to go then these "world leaders" must really want to get assasinated! If you want to know how to "safely" or to pretend to want to seem to be trying to safely transport someone/something from point A to B, pls ask an African President...you need at least 5 motorcyles, 3 cars that you're obviously not in, people hanging out the window, honking and at least 2 cars....that you're possibly in. then throw in the extra hangers on just trying to beat traffic :)
Surprise surprise, his crew appear out of nowhere! on this straight, deserted, desert backroad...create some commotion and successfully break him out.

Physics cap on now guys: KE=0.5mv2
the tiny ass sports car travelling at 120kmph will have more E than the big as slow ass bus...yeah...then the car stops in the middle of the road and now that KE=0! so all that show really had nothing to do with anything really, and honestly, no one in a big ass car is scared of a stationary small ass car....especially a fancy one showing off in the middle of the road, why the hell was the driver even bothered, how the hell didn't he know what the hell was going on, how was the freaking sports car carrying enough fuel to make that journey to that straight, deserted, desert backroad, what the hell was the other car doing during all this, and HOW in the world did a big ass bus crash into that car and go flying...leaving the small ass, annoying ass sports car standing exactly where we left it?

WTF?

Im not going to go into how everyone should have died in that crash...by agreeing to watch the movie...i basically agreed to the premise that the lead can never die...no matter how ridiculous the narrow escape.

2. blah blah blah, reunion...i don't even remember what happens but somehow, they end up in Brazil, ofcourse the lead female is pregant cos she plays with a baby and vomits. How they decide to rob whatever is beyond me, and obv irrelevant to the story. Ok, so they need money and decide to rob the baddest guy in Brazil...which as far as bad guys go...is really badass! I'll just skip right to the crew and their "credentials" :

Blah blah blah explosives guys

At least Tego and Don Omar blew up a toilet...instead of Tego Calderon speaking the Spanish he knows how to speak, and don Omar speaking the English he knows how to speak, somehow they got the roles confused so we end up not understanding either of them...not that it was inportant to the plot

A fast talker who can slick talk his way into and out of anything

- tyrese, whose role ended up being to carry a box into the police station....not only did he fail to "inflitate" in anyway shape or form, clearly, the brasilian postal service could have dropped the "special package" at the front desk like Tyrese ended up doing?

Someone who can blend in anywhere

Speaking of the moussad chic, did she really have to be spending her finally-made it-life-is-good-i-have-no-problems-cos -i-have-a-ridiculous-amount-of-money time in Germany? (As cool as making out while doing 120 on the autobahn was)

I digress, as usual there has to be a random street race where you can win a car, cos that's how it's done and Vin Diesel always wins etc etc, loud music, skimpily clad girls etc etc. You're a wanted criminal, you randomly show up, the Rock on steroids ishunting you, despite all this his wins (hurray) and the plot thickens. Now after embarrasing this native-street-racer-kingpin, you show up exactly where the Rock is expecting you, and somehow, he can't arrest you despite his aresenal of guns cos everyone in the spot is packing...

Cos this is brasil!

Spare me!!!!!! there was so much wrong with that scene i can't even begin..or criminals always stick together? or it's the street racer bro code...

Bring in the baddest man in Brazil....he was actually a cool dude...as far a dialouge went...the random colonial references were...if not inacurate, insensitive at best...so basically after failing to overpower the Brazilian natives, the Spanish learnt their lesson and applied a different principle to successfully colonize the rest of South America? I see.
How his crew remianed loyal after the his source of power (the money) was seen flailing away like a kite on a string by a bunch of Gringos is beyond me, and if his dude had the whole PD in his pocket, why the hell didn't he keep the money there from the jump off? It's all good...safe houses are the way to go.

Ah hah! now i remeber how they crossed paths with senhor Bad Man....he had to retrieve a chip with "damning information" this fool couldn't have sent his right hand man to just get the damn PDA from the car, slip back into the train cabin, and no one would have ever been the wiser! shoot, he himself could have been on that damn train in disguise and no one would have been the wiser. What the hell do u need to steal 3 cars for, when u don't even need the 1 car that ur interested in...it's not a distraction...that was just dumb...as evidenced by how his grand plan failed.

hmm... as for the Rock and the random cop who lives in the favela, i have nothing to say, a random Brazilian babe needed to be in the movie, and somehow that was the best role/entry they could give her. No yawa.

All the movie does is basically tear Rio de Janiero to shreds, all those poor poor Oi telephone booths...dragging a 1000tonne safe around....like it was a light weight trailer....hmm, no friction in carioca land abi... everyone lives happily ever after, fine-ass Paul Walker, the sister, Vin and the yawa carioca police chic, on some beach, the Peurto Rican couple on holiday together, in a casino trying to loose all their money together and Tyrese and Luda just being fools.

but wait!

the movie isn't over! the Rock is doing paper work and in sashays tun tun tun!!!!! Eve Mendes! with some information...tun tun tun....Rodrigues (Vin's soul mate from the previous movie) who died...came back to life through an ancient Samoan ritual, is apparenlty still alive and doing bad things in Germany...tun tun tun...lets see what happens in Fast Six; destroy Australasia...

KMT

- cue random Asian dude in a hawaiian shirt. who ends up doing nothing but sitting at the beach with the moussad chic, eating chips and wearing a variety of floral prints.

blogging is so hard!

26/09/11
Why is it so damn hard to blog...perhaps i should get a blogger app on my nokia c5( yeah right)...maybe if i had a bb, an i or htc, i could...but with the hot mess i'm stuck with...i'm screwed. and lest i  forget, shout outs to the forgotten blog of the c5.

Back on topic..it's not like i don't have anything to say...there has been a lot going on in my life....almost each day...perhaps the problem is whether to put all my drama out there...yeah...still thinking about that one...
I remember the last time i had something really important to do and decided to go online instead...i created not one but 2 blogs...i'm still trying to find the other one...

Last year I suppossed to be studying for pt 1 of my finals...this year, i'm suppossed to be working on my dissertation. Damn you rihanna for asking me to chat with you...i'm done, i give up...remind me to "revoke" minichat's access to my ish.

...and now, after oogling pix of rir on her website...i'm now stalking her on glamour.com

e wa e

I've also been bumping Kelly Ro non stop for 4 days...and guess what, Comeback (Kamatronics rmx) off the Ms. Kelly album...reminds me of one the remixes of Run the World (Girls) tsk tsk tsk Bey...i know techo all sounds the same but really?

10:54....got tired of Miguel, so I'm listening to No Doubt...still on my dissertation grind...i think i deserve chocolate...
00:44....I THINK THIS IS IT... sorry...i think this is it...i'm done! im done! i'm...pretty much done