Monday, December 26, 2011

Fast Five

Ok, so i'm jumping  on this late...but what can i say..i don't exactly have a lot of time on my hands.

I heard about the movie through Don Omar's song off the Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, cos his video features snippets of the movie and it was set in Brasil, yada yada, as you can imagine i got excited.


Fast foward to December 2011, when i do finally find the time to watch a DVDrip of it, and i can barely believe my eyes after the 1st 5 minutes.


First of all...did Vin Diesle's x'ter get arrested in Fast Four?....ok lets say he did..i don't remember, ok now he's been tried etc etc, somehow, he's the only one of his crew that got caught...fine...then on his way to prison, he a bunch of big time criminals are transported through some deserted desert backroad in a flimsy looking bus with barely a guard on it. (btw, my school buses have more guardrailings...never mind that there's minimal access to the emergency outlet, medical students are clearly more dangerous)

Somehow...in a bid to be non descript, this rickety bus with 1 guard and 40 odd criminals is travelling without a convoy of preceding and succeding armed police escorts. REally? REALLY? really? If incognito is the way to go then these "world leaders" must really want to get assasinated! If you want to know how to "safely" or to pretend to want to seem to be trying to safely transport someone/something from point A to B, pls ask an African President...you need at least 5 motorcyles, 3 cars that you're obviously not in, people hanging out the window, honking and at least 2 cars....that you're possibly in. then throw in the extra hangers on just trying to beat traffic :)
Surprise surprise, his crew appear out of nowhere! on this straight, deserted, desert backroad...create some commotion and successfully break him out.

Physics cap on now guys: KE=0.5mv2

the tiny ass sports car travelling at 120kmph will have more E than the big as slow ass bus...yeah...then the car stops in the middle of the road and now that KE=0! so all that show really had nothing to do with anything really, and honestly, no one in a big ass car is scared of a stationary small ass car....especially a fancy one showing off in the middle of the road, why the hell was the driver even bothered, how the hell didn't he know what the hell was going on, how was the freaking sports car carrying enough fuel to make that journey to that straight, deserted, desert backroad, what the hell was the other car doing during all this, and HOW in the world did a big ass bus crash into that car and go flying...leaving the small ass, annoying ass sports car standing exactly where we left it?

WTF?


Im not going to go into how everyone should have died in that crash...by agreeing to watch the movie...i basically agreed to the premise that the lead can never die...no matter how ridiculous the narrow escape.


2. blah blah blah, reunion...i don't even remember what happens but somehow, they end up in Brazil, ofcourse the lead female is pregant cos she plays with a baby and vomits. How they decide to rob whatever is beyond me, and obv irrelevant to the story. Ok, so they need money and decide to rob the baddest guy in Brazil...which as far as bad guys go...is really badass! I'll just skip right to the crew and their "credentials" :

Blah blah blah explosives guys
At least Tego and Don Omar blew up a toilet...instead of Tego Calderon speaking the Spanish he knows how to speak, and don Omar speaking the English he knows how to speak, somehow they got the roles confused so we end up not understanding either of them...not that it was inportant to the plot
A fast talker who can slick talk his way into and out of anything
- tyrese, whose role ended up being to carry a box into the police station....not only did he fail to "inflitate" in anyway shape or form, clearly, the brasilian postal service could have dropped the "special package" at the front desk like Tyrese ended up doing?


Someone who can blend in anywhere


Speaking of the moussad chic, did she really have to be spending her finally-made it-life-is-good-i-have-no-problems-cos -i-have-a-ridiculous-amount-of-money time in Germany? (As cool as making out while doing 120 on the autobahn was)

I digress, as usual there has to be a random street race where you can win a car, cos that's how it's done and Vin Diesel always wins etc etc, loud music, skimpily clad girls etc etc. You're a wanted criminal, you randomly show up, the Rock on steroids ishunting you, despite all this his wins (hurray) and the plot thickens. Now after embarrasing this native-street-racer-kingpin, you show up exactly where the Rock is expecting you, and somehow, he can't arrest you despite his aresenal of guns cos everyone in the spot is packing...

Cos this is brasil!
Spare me!!!!!! there was so much wrong with that scene i can't even begin..or criminals always stick together? or it's the street racer bro code...

Bring in the baddest man in Brazil....he was actually a cool dude...as far a dialouge went...the random colonial references were...if not inacurate, insensitive at best...so basically after failing to overpower the Brazilian natives, the Spanish learnt their lesson and applied a different principle to successfully colonize the rest of South America? I see.
How his crew remianed loyal after the his source of power (the money) was seen flailing away like a kite on a string by a bunch of Gringos is beyond me, and if his dude had the whole PD in his pocket, why the hell didn't he keep the money there from the jump off? It's all good...safe houses are the way to go.

Ah hah! now i remeber how they crossed paths with senhor Bad Man....he had to retrieve a chip with "damning information" this fool couldn't have sent his right hand man to just get the damn PDA from the car, slip back into the train cabin, and no one would have ever been the wiser! shoot, he himself could have been on that damn train in disguise and no one would have been the wiser. What the hell do u need to steal 3 cars for, when u don't even need the 1 car that ur interested in...it's not a distraction...that was just dumb...as evidenced by how his grand plan failed.

hmm... as for the Rock and the random cop who lives in the favela, i have nothing to say, a random Brazilian babe needed to be in the movie, and somehow that was the best role/entry they could give her. No yawa.

All the movie does is basically tear Rio de Janiero to shreds, all those poor poor Oi telephone booths...dragging a 1000tonne safe around....like it was a light weight trailer....hmm, no friction in carioca land abi... everyone lives happily ever after, fine-ass Paul Walker, the sister, Vin and the yawa carioca police chic, on some beach, the Peurto Rican couple on holiday together, in a casino trying to loose all their money together and Tyrese and Luda just being fools.

but wait!
the movie isn't over! the Rock is doing paper work and in sashays tun tun tun!!!!! Eve Mendes! with some information...tun tun tun....Rodrigues (Vin's soul mate from the previous movie) who died...came back to life through an ancient Samoan ritual, is apparenlty still alive and doing bad things in Germany...tun tun tun...lets see what happens in Fast Six; destroy Australasia...

KMT
- cue random Asian dude in a hawaiian shirt. who ends up doing nothing but sitting at the beach with the moussad chic, eating chips and wearing a variety of floral prints.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

blogging is so hard!

26/09/11
Why is it so damn hard to blog...perhaps i should get a blogger app on my nokia c5( yeah right)...maybe if i had a bb, an i or htc, i could...but with the hot mess i'm stuck with...i'm screwed. and lest i  forget, shout outs to the forgotten blog of the c5.

Back on topic..it's not like i don't have anything to say...there has been a lot going on in my life....almost each day...perhaps the problem is whether to put all my drama out there...yeah...still thinking about that one...
I remember the last time i had something really important to do and decided to go online instead...i created not one but 2 blogs...i'm still trying to find the other one...

Last year I suppossed to be studying for pt 1 of my finals...this year, i'm suppossed to be working on my dissertation. Damn you rihanna for asking me to chat with you...i'm done, i give up...remind me to "revoke" minichat's access to my ish.

...and now, after oogling pix of rir on her website...i'm now stalking her on glamour.com

e wa e

I've also been bumping Kelly Ro non stop for 4 days...and guess what, Comeback (Kamatronics rmx) off the Ms. Kelly album...reminds me of one the remixes of Run the World (Girls) tsk tsk tsk Bey...i know techo all sounds the same but really?

10:54....got tired of Miguel, so I'm listening to No Doubt...still on my dissertation grind...i think i deserve chocolate...
00:44....I THINK THIS IS IT... sorry...i think this is it...i'm done! im done! i'm...pretty much done

Monday, January 17, 2011

Greater American Adventure...summary

Let me just say, that i would advertise for Pimsler's Portuguese for free!
90 lessons, under 30 mins each and i was on my way!
But don't get it twisted, i was confused as hell! listening to recordings in a controlled environment is nothing compared to being in the field....nothing.
I'd spent years planning for this. literally, and now it's over, been there done that, and I can't even believe it.
From getting "permission" to getting a ticket to getting a visa, everything was a hustle.


Flying from Accra-London-Chicago-Detroit-Washington d.c.-New York-Sao Paulo-Belo Horizonte-Brasilia-New York-Washington d.c. (2 more flights to go)


Michigan was interesting enough, in retrospect i should have taken more advantage of the bus pass and shuttle I had at my disposal. The highlight of the experience (Da Vinci aside) had to have been cutting out a disk of guaze laparascopically. Scrub class, drape class, try not to touch anything class... This contrasts with me holding a live gall bladder laparoscopically in Brazil, scrubbing  without supervision, assisting in surgery on my first day in theatre, palpating necks on my first day. period.
Getting used to the weather was an  issue till the last week; having almost fainted on my first day being scrubbed and gowned...too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry... surviving in 'portuges' on the other hand, was something else! Of course everyone complimented me, but somehow that really doesn't translate to feeling confident in dark alleys :-) and then came the gesticulations.
I had a snazzy spreadsheet going to keep track of my spending, but all the conversion and lack of automatic receipts in Brazil, just sent all that out of the window. It just got too complicated. and that's where the financial problems started. :) No one knows where your money goes in Brazil, but it sure as hell doesn't stay put!
OMG!


So I was adopted by the nicest family ever and had 3 friends living in b.h (Belo Horizonte) 1 of them I knew from Legon. Thank god for Facebook! oh and another friend whom i never go to see, despite a 5 hour layover in his city. I suppose when visiting Brazil, it's best to decide in advance, weather your a tourist or not. Brazil I huuuuuuuge! and being a surgical resident is haaaaaaaaard!


In summary, I managed to visit the 3 top cities in Brazil, 1 historical, 1 college city, took bus trips totalling about 30hours of travel time, ate lunch alone (like an exchange student) re-u-ni-ted with a couple of people, got dissed by a few, sexually harrassed by a few, ignored by many :) missed every single samba show, never went to a rodizio of any kind, never danced salsa...even jokingly...and learnt a heap of lessons.


Did i mention my first subcuticular stitch with monocryl 4-O? that was almost perfect :P

First Post!

So I started this blog months ago..during my final Pt. I when i should have been doing more productive things...that was October...this is January. i created 2 blogs in one night, and never went back...till now.
Thankfully, I never signed out so when i saw a facebook notification by my cousin, advertising ,my blog, i clicked and it took me to blogger.com...where my very own blog was hiding.
So here goes..my first post.
i thought i would blog about preparing for 1 of the most important exams of my life...or preparing for 3 months on the road...of sorts...or finally going to Brazil..oh my new Nokia C5...but...hmm..No.